I think it would be utterly terrifying to find the person who would reflect everything and all that you are. All of what makes you you, is what makes that person authentic as well. and that’s a terrifying thought is it not? to see yourself so undoubtedly reflected in somebody else. what would you do with that?
the answer is there. it’s staring me right in the face, I know it’s something that should be so apparent, especially after tonight’s class. but I can’t get to it. try as I might. I can’t process it and I can’t understand what it is, I don’t even know what it is that I’m supposed to be looking for. all I know is that there’s something out there, that I’m walking towards a certain realization or truth, but I have no idea what it is.
dyou know what I mean? half the time I think I’m going crazy, half the time I think I’m delusional, unrealistic, improbable, ridiculous, zany, in over my head… and all other similar adjectives. but the other half of the time. there’s something there. and I’m meant to be walking towards it. I’m meant to find it. I’m meant to be brought to it. but I don’t know what it is. and I’m blind. but I have to keep walking, though I don’t know where all of this is going or how it all adds up or whatever. and that to me is the scariest thing ever. how do walk forward without knowing where you’re going to end up?
I don’t know. just do it. and trust in God.